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Thursday, May 20th, 2004

Subject:updating
Time:9:56 am.
I know I should update this because i haven't in a long time but i don't really have much to say. work is the same...stressfull...but i am getting used to that and i am more confidant in myself. as for my personal life, i don't talk about that to anyone anymore (a direct result of the situations and circumstances that inspired my last journal). hope everyone is happy and well. all my love to those i love. j
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, April 29th, 2004

Subject:another life theory...probably only my truth
Time:4:04 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
o.k....so i overanalyze EVERYTHING and i am far too intense. Unfortunately, this is my personality and there is not much i can do about it if i want to continue to be true to myself. my intensity bothers others and i can sense it so usually i don't talk about what's on my mind. then when i become consumed with thought and decide that i need answers i finally open up. this makes some people uncomfortable, others mad, and others withdraw....or all of the above. my questions may or may not get answered but either way, the one questioned has pulled away from me. i have experienced this phenomenon over and over again and i continue in this pattern...yet another personality flaw i suppose. so, i have come to my own conclusion about people in general (including myself): people become withdrawn from others not because they don't want to share their thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, complaints, etc., but because of the way others react or the fear of how others are going to react. it doesn't take a genius to figure out this life puzzle....it just takes some of us a lot of time to accept that this is the way life is. it's a shame.....i know many people that would be happier if they could just say what is on their minds. oh well. love you all.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 20th, 2004

Subject:milkshake spring
Time:10:17 am.
OK......This is a problem......I have the Milkshake song stuck in my head....thanks K...appreciate it. no j/k.

i love spring, i love my house.....it is so BEAUTIFUL up here. i love life. all my love to those i love. -j
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, April 12th, 2004

Time:3:00 pm.
AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I REALLY NEED TO GET AWAY! NOTHING EVER SEEMS TO GO RIGHT AND I AM IN A REALLY BAD PLACE LATELY.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, April 8th, 2004

Subject:i hate my job!
Time:9:46 am.
Mood: sleepy.
AAAAGGGGHHH! So, i woke up early this morning and went to work.....only to find out that i am not supposed to be there today!!!! AAAGGGGHHHHH! So now i am at home and i have to drive back to Atl. ToMORROW. YUCK. Oh well at least i get to be home today. All my love to those i love.-j
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, March 31st, 2004

Subject:nothing new
Time:12:36 pm.
i don't have alot to say lately. just busy and feeling blah. waiting to get out of this funk. i miss myself and everyone else. i hate feeling withdrawn.....its like knowing that everyone you love is right there next to you but they can't reach you and you can't reach them. isolation. love to all. -j
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004

Time:10:54 am.
Mood: sad.
I find myself in a daze....I know when it started but i struggle with the thought of knowing it may never end. This past weekend I found myself in the middle of an ethical and spiritual battle, not only for myself but for everyone involved in the situation. The outcome of which has left much to be desired on my part, but i fear on no one else's. My mind now weighs heavily on decisions that were made by some, actions that were and weren't taken by all, my feeling of complete helplessness, and the sweet little baby girl I held dying in my arms. And now I wonder what was ever so important before for me to be upset about. This burden I now bear on my heart and soul weighs more heavily than anything ever has before. I am sad and confused and I need guidance, strength, support, and love to make it through this. I know I have all these things and yet I feel all alone in my struggle for clarity and relief. Life is hard. All my love to those I love -j
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, March 18th, 2004

Subject:nothing but life
Time:9:19 pm.
Mood: chipper.
Well.....I am rather proud of myself! Today I ran 5.4 miles....I've never run that far in my life. Cool huh? I'm hurtin' now though....but it was worth it. Nothing else new is going on. I can't wait for warmer weather.....hiking, tanning, going to the rivers and lakes, using my telescope......I am ready for all these things. Oh....C and i were driving around this evening and i found my DREAM HOUSE. Too bad its $350,000....don't think we will be getting that one...oh well. One more day off with my honey (before that said honey, i accidentally typed homey lol...ok so maybe i am the only one who thinks thats funny but i do!) it's j's world right? i wish. all my love to those i love. -j
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, March 12th, 2004

Subject: WOW I'M SEXY!
Time:10:03 pm.
wine
You're a Glass of Wine!


What Type of Alcoholic Beverage Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, March 11th, 2004

Subject:Wow this could actually happen!
Time:1:18 pm.
Mood: amused.
O.K. so i can't stay away fom lj...i think it is some sick voyeuristic thing. it is really interesting to see what goes on in other people's lives. anyway, so here is a morbid little quiz (and considering my lifestyle, this could actually happen):

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:Terrible animal attack while you were out hiking in the mountains. Seemed that you made good animal food, definately a closed casket.
Death Date:July 20, 2026
Number attending your funeral?156
How much will you leave to friends and family?$2,109,155
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, March 10th, 2004

Subject:No more lj :0(
Time:10:36 am.
Mood: disappointed.
It now seems rather pointless to update my journal since no one seems to read it anymore excet for my darling c.....and i can just tell him in person what is going on with my day. No one else seems to care enough to comment (and that sucks!) so i do believe that i am done with lj in this form. I will continue to log on to write personal journals and to check on Mr. Jeepmethodology but I do believe that is it. Too bad...I rather enjoyed lj. The ironic thing is that i am essentially writing this to myself anyway. oh well, such is life. -j
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004

Subject:beautiful
Time:5:16 pm.
Mood: artistic.
this artist is amazing.... i'll get her name later and post it -j

Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, February 28th, 2004

Subject:nothing really
Time:7:38 pm.
Mood: drained.
one day down...one to go. i HATE that i have to work on weekends! everyone else is out having fun and i am stuck in a hospital. oh well. however, i can't say that today was bad. c is supposed to come to see me tonight at the hotel. YEAH! I'm glad he is coming. I think the one thing I hate the most about my job is the fact that I am away from home for nearly half of the week. That doesn't make for a feeling of being grounded and stable. K and S,hope you have a wonderful time this weekend. Miss you guys. Maybe we can get together sometime next week.

Oh....ok...one more thing. So, c and i have lived in our house for over a year now and we have never met the neighbors across the stree. Not that we don't want to but they haven't seemed very friendly. i.e. we wave to them as thay drive by, they look at us, then look away...no wave....not very nice. So last night at 8 pm, c and i are in the kitchen eating dinner in our pajamas (me in no bra and a tight shirt mind you) and there is a knock at our door. Lo and behold, it's our neighbor. So, turns out that he comes over and we think he is finally introducing himself...well, no. He actually came over to sell us something. WTF?! He seems like a nice enough man but 2 things.....1)it was 8 pm and 2)you dont go to your neighbor's door, whom you have never met, and sell something. So, we told him it was a bad time and didn't invite him in...was that rude? i don't know. So anyway, we told him we would meet with him on a later day. Hmmmmmmm.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, February 27th, 2004

Time:2:29 pm.
Mood: happy.
Damien Rice has beautiful music....beautiful lyics. Just wanted to share a few excerpts.

DELICATE

We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate

We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate

TOFFEE POP

I've got so much beauty around me I can't move
I've got so much beauty around me I can't lose
I've got so much beauty around me I can't choose
I've got so much beauty around me, around you
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:nothing much
Time:2:11 pm.
Mood: ditzy.
i just love being at home! we had snow up here yesterday and it was beautiful. c,s,k, and i went out for a jeep ride and then hiking in the snow....what great fun! nothing else spectacular is going on....just the normal day to day. can't complain about that though. love you all. take care.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, February 26th, 2004

Subject:peanuts
Time:8:27 pm.
Mood: blah.
so....i took the test and i am........

Rerun
You are Rerun!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

chis took the test for me and he thinks i'm

Lucy
You are Lucy!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i like Rerun better
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, February 15th, 2004

Subject:i'm bored!
Time:12:31 am.
Mood: awake.
SSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Wouldn't want to wake the dead........dead asleep that is.

insomnia once again...it really sucks that everyone else is asleep. hope you are all having sweet dreams (except maybe my dear k who enjoys nightmares......dream what you enjoy :0). sweet nightmares for you ;o). please don't take that the wrong way!) all my love to all of my sleeping beauties -j

p.s. even the dogs pooped out on me! yikes!
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, February 10th, 2004

Subject:beauty
Time:6:39 pm.
Mood: melancholy.
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along
-evanescence
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:i took it again
Time:12:38 pm.
Mood: content.


this is cooler than the pig!!!!! (for those of us who have dirty minds anyway :0) )
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:hmmmm...i'ma piglet
Time:12:34 pm.
Mood: content.


awesome!!!!!! c and i are the same.
Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for blueautumnmoon.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.